Believe me. It was a really, really, good news week. So good, that it’s hard to make this stuff up. Let me save you some screen time. Here are this week’s highlights from the not-fake-news file, yet edgy enough to serve as conversation starters while you’re waiting in the grocery store line, slogging away on the elliptical at the gym, or back at that office on Monday recapping your weekends.

Grumpy Cat has a reason to put on a happy smileIt’s called cash, to the tune of $750,000. This week, a California jury ruled against the Grenade beverage company who had paid to have Grumpy Cat endorse a Grumpy Cat Grumpuccino. But, they didn’t stop there and used her likeness to endorse other products. That’s a no-no, and now Grumpy Cat’s owner, Tabatha Bundesen, can buy more all-things-cats with her newly acquired cash.

Trump just might go for the goldWe all know POTUS is really, really fit and in remarkable health, probably almost fit enough for a spot on our Olympic team – the Olympic team of gold toilet collectors. This week the White House asked to borrow a Vincent van Gogh, and the Guggenheim said “no Gogh” but did offer an 18-karat, fully-functioning solid gold, but used toilet. Mr. Germaphobe does love his gold, but a used potty, even if it’s worth $1 million, might not be the right fit for his orangeness.

Literally, this is awesome news!A dive bar in New York City’s East Village is literally, banning the word ‘literally’. Drink up in five if you use the word, because you’re headed out the door. But before you head out the door, they also offer six shots of anything for $12. Drink that, and I’m thinking the word ‘literally’ might just have too many syllables to string together in your sentences. It’s worth a shot, or six.

There’s more to the man under that Barney costume – Remember Barney, our purple friend? That voice was annoying. Well frankly, that show grated on my nerves, but kids were drawn to it, including our daughter. Come to find out, the man under that costume has a new gig. David Joyner, is now a tantric sex therapist with around 30 clients, who he refers to as “goddesses.” Somehow his years of playing Barney evolved from love, and it was that work that segued nicely into tantra training. Right, that makes perfect sense.

A bead bonanza!I’ve never been to New Orleans to experience Mardi Gras, but I’m fully aware of the importance of the beads. You must have your beads, the more the better. Most revelers become “throwers” on Fat Tuesday and toss those jeweled beads in the air. As we all know, what goes up must come down. And in New Orleans, the down for those beads means they end up in the drain. After heavy flooding in late summer, the city needed to clean the drains and what awaited was 93,000 pounds of Mardi Gras beads. Can you imagine 93,000 pounds of those throw-away beads? Maybe instead of a Van Gogh, the White House could make use of those beads. After all, it sounds like a daily carnival within those protected walls, so those beads would be a welcome addition.

There you have it. Some “newsworthy” highlights from the week.

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